Tag Archives | acceptance

The Way to Joy Through Pain

I recently experienced a deep pain I’d buried for many years.

After my last significant relationship over six years ago, I was devastated. I was unable at that time to allow myself to feel what had happened. I only wanted to get away from it.

So I buried the hurt. The wounds. The anger. The regret. The judgements. The blame. The shame.

As it resurfaced I could feel the overwhelming pain I’d buried and had been hiding inside of me. It was heavy, dark, and despairing. And at the same time it was good to feel. It was necessary to feel.

My challenge was that I got lost in the pain. The story of it all. Who did what to whom and why. I felt stuck and didn’t know how to get out.

Somewhere in there I realized that the recurring theme was that ‘I didn’t know that I deserved to have a relationship be any better than that’. I didn’t know that I deserved to be adored. Loved. Acknowledged. Accepted. Heard. Seen.

So I had settled for something that felt unsettling and terrible a lot of the time.

As my awareness of this aspect increased I was still lost in the story of it all.

Two of my coaching colleagues supported and helped me find my way out. They held space for me to acknowledge how I had really rejected myself. Denied myself. Ignored myself.

Not because I knew any better. Because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know how to honour myself. Respect myself. Love myself. Not then.

They held space for me to claim that I deserve to be loved. Supported. Heard. Adored. Cherished. Treasured. I am worthy to have the best that life and a relationship has to offer me.

I’m learning. Now. How to love myself more. To take care of myself better.

To listen to what I need in each moment. To say “No” when I feel disrespected. To walk away when it doesn’t feel good. To make myself a snack when I feel hungry. To stop and rest when I’m exhausted. To dance when I want to move. To ask myself what I want now. In this moment. For me.

The way to joy. It is a journey. A process. Easier some days than others.

I’m developing more compassion for myself. Love for me. Joy in my heart.


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Risk to Live Fiercely Today

These days I find that I long for simple, short and sweet.

Direct. To the point. Clear.

Love is all there is.

I now know this to be true. I feel it in the cells of my being. Head to toe.

I’ve waited over five decades to experience this. It is worth the wait.

In a circle of open hearted, loving brothers and sisters completing our facilitator training, I risked it all to show up. To open. To reveal my truth. To explore my truth.

I felt the safety and permission needed for me to actually go deep. To feel deep. To express deeply. To connect deeply.

All I needed was the courage to take the risk. To step out of familiar into excitement. Into willingness to show all of me. Trusting that I would be held. Loved. Accepted.

Exactly how I showed up. Tears. Fears. Anger. Resistance. Playful. Open. Flowing.

I felt all. I gave all. I was met with all.

I was matched with such love and acceptance. Complete. Full. Cleansed. Opened up wide. To myself. In relation with others.

Separate. Yet connected.

Me. One with all.

I got it all. I’m blissed out in gratitude for life and living. I feel good in my skin. Luscious. In my skin. Ahhhhh.

Live Fiercely today and always….

ps  please share how you are living fiercely this month so we can support one another in our daringness and stretches! I love you!


photo by Gail Hull

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