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You know what I mean.

Why is it that every time you find yourself in any relationship, new or old, family or friend, partner or children, eventually something inside you gets triggered? You get poked in incredibly tender places and react.

Often it can cause you to shut down. Or you knee jerk react by attacking or walking away.

Everything that happens in relationships will do one of two things. It will either open you or close you.

Things that get said or not, acted on or not, ignored or not, will always open or close your heart. You will feel closer to the other person or disconnected from them.

In my personal experience, closing is easy. It’s automatic. Fast.

In fact, it is often so fast and automatic that over time you may even forget that there is another option.

The big questions for many of us may be: “How do I open my heart again?” or “How can I keep my heart open more of the time?”

Opening your heart is a journey.

Learning to truly open your heart to love again can be one of the most powerful, risky, daring, frightening and exciting things you might chose to do in your life.

Opening requires a fierceness. You need to want to open. Because some part of you knows that it is what you long for.

And it requires other people. Yep, that’s right. Truly opening your heart to love is a solo journey only at certain points. And the really deep and profound juicy parts of opening are only available in the presence of others.

This doesn’t mean you have to have a partner or lover for this to happen though that can often take you even deeper.

What it means is you need to allow others to feel and see you. And you need to feel and see them. Experimenting and watching what closes your heart so you can explore what it takes for your heart to open again in a safe container of loving individuals.

This is exactly what we do in Living Love Fiercely Heart Intelligence Days.

Every month we meet together to explore what it means to open our hearts to ourselves and to each other in a safe supported place so that we can:

Heal our past
Expand our emotional ranges
Awaken our Divinity, to
Relationship Bliss, so that we can
Trust Life.

Please join us in discovering ways to open your heart to reconnect with yourself and others again. You deserve to feel and know love.

Living Love Fiercely,
Cindy

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How do you tell the difference between truth and conditioning? How you know if what you tell yourself or believe is really true? How can you tell if it comes from what something or someone has told you? Or if it comes from the depths of who you really are?

Good questions, right? How do you know?

This is a tricky question. At some level truth is relative. You can believe whatever you want. At any point in time. You can even change your mind about what your truth is moment by moment. If you want to.

What I’ve discovered about my own truth is that it is alive. In some way it carries an energy or frequency that has motion. It moves.

When I touch a truth I haven’t had access to before, it actually brings me to tears. It’s a bit like waking up. To a part of me I didn’t know before.

One of my favourite parts of working with others is helping them touch and discover their own deep truths. What it is that is really going on. To discern what is real for them in that moment.

Conditioning creates so many stories about our lives. Who did what to us, where, how and why. We can use use the same story repeatedly to stay small and stuck for years. Looping the same themes repeatedly throughout our entire lives.

There is another way.

Yesterday I had the privilege of witnessing and holding space for someone to recognize a deeper truth from their childhood. She had previously thought her deep sorrow and grief was a result of not having the connection she wanted with her dad. He wasn’t around much when she was growing up.

The deeper truth turned out to be that what she really missed was that her parents weren’t able to connect and love each other deeply. Their deep love and connection would have created a safe home and container for her to grow up in. She would have known safe and secure in herself. Instead, what she learned was that she couldn’t trust others or life to really be there for her.

When the new truth was available, moved and landed for her, it was a though an incredible weight she’d been carrying for years was lifted. She was free to remember that it wasn’t about her. She could remember the innate joy present within herself because she is alive.

A part of her woke up. She could connect more deeply with that part of herself that knows what it is she needs and wants. The freedom and expansion of accessing her deepest truth immediately changed everything.

We need each other to be able to discern our deepest inner truth from the conditioning. We need to have someone else hold the possibilities that we don’t have access to by ourselves. We need help to wake up.

What do you need to help you access your deepest truth today? Is there any way I can support you on your journey?

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This morning as I woke I was noticing and tracking a part of me that was a frightened, anxious and terrified little girl.

She was running around in the shadows attempting to keep me from seeing her. I could feel her terror and fear.

I had the sense that usually she is invisible and I can’t even see her. This morning I could. I could feel her tiny bit of desire to be seen. At the same time it was freaking her out.

I slowly went into the space where she was which was like a very dark forest. I sat down and quieted myself and opened my heart.

I could sense her becoming more settled and less frantic. I continued to sit and open.

I began to be curious about what it is that she is afraid of. Fear is very familiar to me and I was curious about what exactly she is afraid of.

I asked about my usual fears like not being good enough, failing, being rejected, abandoned, hurt, pain, broken heart. All the ones I’m so familiar with.

I couldn’t find it. I always know when I’ve found the truth about something new when I’m unable to hold back my tears. Tears are my truth indicator when it comes to my big ah ha’s and inner Truth.

I continued to open more and to ask for help and guidance because it was obviously something that I had no idea about.

Then I heard this quiet whisper. A very quiet whisper.

It whispered “love”.

And I could feel the tears beginning to flood my eyes. And the sobs that came from deep inside of me. While at the same time questioning the answer that was being so obviously confirmed.

She is afraid of love. I am afraid of love.

How can this be? How can I be afraid of something that another part of me desires so intensely?

I have a deep sense and knowing that this ‘love’ is the real thing. The deep, vast, all encompassing and unconditional love I heard so much about in all my Sunday school stories growing up. Way more than the conditional love we experience daily in our lives.

This is the expansive love frequency that includes every colour of the spectrum in every way imaginable. Everything included. Nothing excluded.

The love I was told existed though I’ve not yet felt was real or that I had any access to it.

And so. Another chapter of my inner Truth begins. My heart being opened in a brand new way. Leading me forward to the integration and deeper understanding of exactly what this does mean to me and to us.

My Heart aches and opens in deep gratitude today.

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“We’ve been told in so many books that the quality of our relationships is because of our childhood wounding. No, it’s your relationship to your wound that determines the quality of the relationship.”

Christian Pankhurst, Heart Intelligent Relationship Coach/Trainer

A couple of weeks ago I reached a place in my life where I could feel a deep longing to have a deeper sense of my own perfection and goodness.

I’ve realized it is so much easier for me to see other people’s perfection and wholeness than my own. I wanted to feel and know this in the centre of myself.

Surprisingly to me at the time, the following couple of weeks were filled with everything that was not beautiful or pleasant or remotely whole about me in any way.

I was incredibly triggered by other people in my life to the painful depths of some of my oldest wounds. The shame that I came in contact with had been hidden and disguised inside me so I would never have to feel it again……I thought.

Some of the days were incredibly challenging as I felt into some of my oldest hidden shame as it surfaced. I did not go looking for it. Believe me. This was not my idea of a good time.

I was determined to stay with what came. Opening to it as best I could with the support of a friend who could hold that for me without making it wrong or bad. As I was able to feel the sadness connected to it, acknowledge it and give it voice, it began to change. It lost the charge that had been so deeply connected with the original experience.

After a week or so of this movement, I was sitting with the current layer of sadness and shame one morning. I felt something surprisingly new. It was like I’d reached a new place where I could feel some new potential or possibility.

I could feel a ray of light coming from somewhere inside me. A new kind of light I’d never seen or felt before. Like beneath the surface was a diamond that had been formed by all the intensity of my life experience. Ready to be uncovered at the right time. For now, there was this single ray of light visible.

I felt incredible relief and relaxing. It felt like a real confirmation that I was exactly where I needed to be.

Since then, I’ve felt additional rays of light become visible. I continue to feel the potential and possibility of what lies right beneath the surface. A beautiful diamond. Carefully formed and almost ready to be fully exposed to the world at the precise time.

I’m no longer equating my personal value to the mistakes or bad choices I’ve made in my life. My personal value and worth is independent of anything I do or say. It is because I am. I no longer have to be tormented by my current errors or any from my past. I am love simply because I am alive and here today. This is the real freedom I’ve been looking and longing for.

May we all discover our true inner value and worth one step at a time.

May you have more access to your own perfection and goodness today.

Namaste’

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Okay. Here goes.

There is a part of me I have resisted acknowledging and claiming for my entire life. A range I’ve rejected in myself.

A frequency others have carried and shown me that terrifies me. Shut me down. Caused me to cut and run. Turn my back. Roll over. Play dead.

Authority figures are power. Some flaunt it about like a new toy. Ready to overcome the next person that threatens them. Step on them. Destroy them.

Powerful creators of all kinds often manage this one well. They know what they want. They do it. They overcome anything in the way. They do what they came to do. Regardless who or what might be blocking them. They take action and create. It may cost them something big or not. They act. Now.

Embodied Heart Intelligent people integrate and put this power, knowing, strength and courage into action. They speak their voice. They insist on being heard. They open to give all and receive all.

They stand up. Show their face. Allow themselves to be seen. To be witnessed. To be held. To be acknowledged. Alive.

Demonstrating their fire. Their passion. Their love. What drives them. To where. Now.

Today I claim my power. The will to know my own truth beyond the shadow of a doubt. To go beyond the conditioning that has rendered me silent. Helpless. Useless. Invisible. Subservient. Powerless.

The power to speak my truth. To show up. To be vulnerable. To inspire hope. To guide. To impart courage. Strength. Power. Clarity. Intention. Passion.

To be all of me. The big. The little. The powerful. The weak. The good. Bad. Ugly. Vast. Beautiful. Creative. Insightful. Awesome.

Now.

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The past couple of months have been intense. For some of us it has been a bit like being pushed through the birth canal again. 

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