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Risking to Speak Words of Kindness

By Cindy on August 15, 2013 in Blog

When I was at the checkout counter in a local store this week, I overheard a grocery bagger suggest to his co-worker that she go and take her break. She could have been his mother or aunt and was a bit resistant to begin with, maybe feeling in the flow of what she had been doing or a bit resistant to being told what to do by this younger checker.

He sensed her resistance and said to her, “Go on now. You deserve it.”

She looked up at him, smiled and walked away to take her break.

I commented to him how good it felt to hear him acknowledge to her that she really did deserve to go have her break now. I continued by saying that it has got to feel so good to everyone to have someone say “You deserve to have something that feels good.”

He responded with a smile saying that she is his favorite colleague so it was easy to say.

He continued and finished bagging my groceries.

I thanked him as I turned to leave and he said, “You’re welcome. Have a great day. You deserve it.”

I turned with a huge smile on my face and my heart open and warmed by his words. I thanked him again and felt the pleasure of being told by a stranger that I deserved to have a great day.

I walked out of the store and to my car beaming with pleasure and feeling such incredible warmth in my heart. I felt open and ready for anything.

The awareness of what I had witnessed taking place in front of me coupled with my own courage to reflect back my observation to this stranger who no longer felt like a stranger started a ripple of kindness and warmth that I took immense pleasure in being a part of.

I had glimpsed a sensitive part of this man who had dared to acknowledge the deservingness of his friend at work. Who knows how that affected the remainder of his own day?

It reminds me how simple and easy it can be to brighten and lighten someone’s day. And how powerful kindness can be anywhere and anytime.

Spontaneous words of kindness are like the pebble in a pond creating endless ripples of joy.

Mmmm, who’s next?

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Risk to Live Fiercely Today

By Cindy on July 29, 2013 in Blog

These days I find that I long for simple, short and sweet.

Direct. To the point. Clear.

Love is all there is.

I now know this to be true. I feel it in the cells of my being. Head to toe.

I’ve waited over five decades to experience this. It is worth the wait.

In a circle of open hearted, loving brothers and sisters completing our facilitator training, I risked it all to show up. To open. To reveal my truth. To explore my truth.

I felt the safety and permission needed for me to actually go deep. To feel deep. To express deeply. To connect deeply.

All I needed was the courage to take the risk. To step out of familiar into excitement. Into willingness to show all of me. Trusting that I would be held. Loved. Accepted.

Exactly how I showed up. Tears. Fears. Anger. Resistance. Playful. Open. Flowing.

I felt all. I gave all. I was met with all.

I was matched with such love and acceptance. Complete. Full. Cleansed. Opened up wide. To myself. In relation with others.

Separate. Yet connected.

Me. One with all.

I got it all. I’m blissed out in gratitude for life and living. I feel good in my skin. Luscious. In my skin. Ahhhhh.

Live Fiercely today and always….

ps please share how you are living fiercely this month so we can support one another in our daringness and stretches! I love you!

photo by Gail Hull

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Fastest Way to Decrease Stress

By Cindy on May 19, 2013 in Blog

I’ve always been a hugger. I love giving and getting hugs and have sought them with willing individuals over the years.

Research has shown my instincts are bang on. There are profound health benefits to those hugs after all.

It turns out that oxytocin, also known as the “love drug,” which is very familiar to those of us who are mothers because it is at much higher levels during childbirth and breastfeeding, is released within 20 seconds of a sustained hug.

Oxytocin is the bonding hormone that allows you to establish a deep connection with others; it’s the glue of society.

In short, slow down, take your time and breathe while you hug. The little quickies are okay though to get the most bang for your buck, stay connected for the full 20 seconds until that oxytocin begins to flow through your system.

The end results are astounding and obvious. Simply put, you feel better. Your entire nervous system relaxes.

You feel less stressed, your heart rate could go down (or up depending on who you are hugging), blood pressure drops, breathing slows, there is a sense of calmness, ease and peace that we all deeply long for.

If you don’t have anyone to nearby to hug, there is still an option.

Place your hand over your heart, close your eyes and breathe for at least 20 seconds. Even placing your hand over your heart will be enough to get the oxytocin flowing. Enjoy connecting with yourself and feel the love flow through your body, mind and soul.

Spread the love with a hug.

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Relationship Challenges Find Clarity in the Heart

By Cindy on February 5, 2013 in Blog

My first encounter with Heart Intelligence was years ago before I had a name for it. I was at a crux point in my first marriage and I was faced with needing to decide whether to commit to the relationship again, or to let go and move on.

I had no idea what to do. I was lost in the judgements of being divorced and how ‘bad’ that would make me along with the fears I felt that took me in so many directions it was making me crazy.

I clearly remember phoning one of my dearest friends and support during those terribly difficult months lamenting my current place of confusion.

To this day, I clearly remember the words that she spoke to me.

“You already know what to do. Go inside your heart and find the answer.”

I had no idea at the time what she meant and I also knew that she was right somehow.

I sat on the front steps of my house with those words ringing in my mind and heart and got quiet so that I could actually hear what my heart was saying to me. I shut out all the words and ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought to’ and worries about others and listened to my soul’s longings.

I felt into what staying in the relationship would be like for me. I experienced the sense of being trapped and confined in a cage or small box. It was terrible and small and I was miserable.

Then I felt into letting go of the relationship. I experienced a freedom that I longed for in the depths of my soul and I felt alive in myself and in the world. I also felt scared at the same time.

As a result, I found myself asking all kinds of questions. “Did I really deserve to have all that freedom and happiness?” “How could I admit failing in this relationship and my marriage which was supposed to be ‘until death do us part’?”

Shortly after this exploration and revelation, I ended the marriage and moved into a very scary and new place in myself and in the world around me. Since then, I have followed the steps, one at a time allowing myself to explore and feel my way into freedom and joy. And when I got off track, which I have done many times over the years, I regrouped and chose yet another way.

This has been my journey over the past 25 years or more since that first moment of consciously choosing to listen to the longings of my heart over the thoughts and judgements running in my mind, in their attempts to keep me safe.

Heart Intelligence

In the past nine months, I have finally encountered a body of work and practice that is helping me stay on track every day rather than the more haphazard way of only paying attention when big issues are up for me.

The body of work is called Heart Intelligence or Heart IQ and it is changing my life toward the ultimate destination of creating joy moment by moment. The practices help keep me on track every day allowing my heart to lead the way. My mind gets to follow.

Having recently completing my Certification to coach Heart Intelligence, I’m incredibly excited to be sharing this with you in small group and larger group settings. It is my desire and longing to facilitate us coming together as community to discover and know ourselves and our individual soul longings.

What do you long for? What desires drive you forward in life? Are you ready to move you toward your own inner joy and happiness? What small step can you take today that will move you in that direction?

Let’s come together and support one another on this profound journey of life and living!

Sending waves of love to you now…….it’s time…….let’s go…….together!

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think

By Cindy on December 3, 2011 in Blog

Last year a friend gave me a button that says “Don’t believe everything you think”. I love this statement in so many ways.

Soon after I had it, I had an opportunity to put the statement into practice. For years I felt drawn to attend a hot yoga class and yet I could never think of a way to actually make it happen. So I didn’t.

Until last year, after a repeat injury to my knee plus an additional injury to the other ankle. Out of desperation to heal my body more quickly, I went to hot yoga. It was hard. Super hard to begin with and I couldn’t do a lot of the poses very well at all, never mind all the sweat and toxins pouring out of my body (as well as everyone else in the class).

After the first few months and some improvements I found myself questioning my commitment to the practice. Why was I here? Was it because it seems the cool and sexy thing to do? Or to prove something to someone?

Upon some reflection, I realized it wasn’t about committing to the practice. It was really about a commitment to myself and my wellbeing.

My thinking was trying to convince me it was about the practice, when the real heart issue for me was, ‘Am I willing to commit to my own healing in a way that would allow me to get stronger as well as to maintain my strength and flexibility?’

Wow! What a different place to be coming from in my awareness. Here was a real opportunity for me to make a real commitment to myself in a way I had never been able to do before.

Once I was able to get out of my thinking mind and into my feeling heart to see that it was about and for me and not about the practice, the real opportunity was clear.

I chose to make a real commitment to me and “I feel good…… ”

Self Inquiry

Have you noticed any times when you allow your own thinking to limit what you can do, create or accomplish?

Do you ever use money as an excuse to not do something for yourself that you would really benefit from?

Have you ever noticed any self sabotaging thoughts that keep you trapped, limited or small?

Is there anything that you’ve been wanting do or try that you haven’t done yet? What is it that keeps you from doing it?

Stepping Forward

Would you be willing to “not believe everything you think” and step into your heart and inner knowing?

How can you step out of your thinking and into your knowingness and intuition TODAY?

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Creating Balance

By Cindy on February 7, 2010 in Blog

Many of us struggle with creating and maintaining balance in our lives. We have so many opportunities to be busy and thinking about everything~from when to be where and how to fit that appointment into the schedule~ to how to manage and track all the paperwork/computer details of the day to day~to how to devote the time and energy into the relationships and activities that nuture and feed us the most~not to mention dealing with the relationships that challenge us the most!

Spending every moment of every day thinking is exhausting and very stressful over time. Most illnesses today can be directly tracked back and have some kind of relationship to daily and long term stress. So how do we develop different ways to move through our lives every day? Where can we place our focus to help make things easier, more fluid and flowing?

One of the most simple and easy ways to begin is to focus on your breathing. When you notice that situations and events are moving very quickly and you are feeling scattered, grumpy, and exhausted or tired, stop and focus on taking a big deep breath…..then another……and another.…..feel the air moving in and out of your body and allow your breathing to release the fatigue and scattered feelings.

Breathing is often the thing we first forget to do when the stress builds and yet it is the easiest and most simple way to relax. Taking as few as one to four focused times to breath throughout the day will help substantially to decrease your body’s reaction to stress. Taking the time to focus once an hour during the day to focus on breathing will help even more.

Another way is to tune into or focus on your heart space. Our heart is much more powerful and all knowing than our mind. We have been taught to be focused in our mind to move through all aspects of life. This is often done to please others and to be noticed in attempts to feel loved and accepted.

When we live our lives guessing what the other person or people would like the most, we loose touch with who we really are and we often shut down our heart in order to avoid feeling hurt or pain. We feel lost and are not even sure why. When we are looking for acceptance from outside ourselves, we can feel like we are never enough for anyone or anything.

When we begin to look within and feel our own heart, to what is our own truth, to who we really are…..to see and recognize that peace comes from inside and only from inside…..we can then begin to discover who we are. It becomes clearer and easier to recognize how we want to spend our time and energy. Saying ‘no’ is easy when we know it is our truth.

The more we can live our lives from our heart, which enables us to discover our authentic self, the easier life becomes and the more peace, love and joy we experience effortlessly.

May we all discover the balance of living life in peace, love and joy from within

February 7, 2010

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Risking to Speak Words of Kindness

Risk to Live Fiercely Today

Fastest Way to Decrease Stress