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Vulnerability is the Path to Being Alive

Nature has always been my guide. Springtime is my reminder to be vulnerable.

Like the new leaves unfurling themselves. Flowers bursting forth. Seeds opening to their inner guidance.

Vulnerability. It’s like a dirty word to many of us humans. Nature does it effortlessly.

Consciously and unconsciously we tend to avoid it at all costs. Showing our underbelly. Soft spot. Raw place. Pain. Hurt.

I thought I always had to be tough. Not show any sign of weakness. I couldn’t let anyone know how I really felt about anything. It was way too dangerous. They might not like me. They might outright reject me. Abandon me. Hurt me.

Years ago a friend invited me to speak my truth. I don’t remember the particulars. What I do remember is that when I finally got honest, he could feel me more. I was still alive. He was still there.

He commented on how much more strength in me he could feel then. How it takes more courage to be honest. In my truth. My real.

As I felt more deeply into this place, I could sense it too. It required way more courage for me to be vulnerable than to fake being strong when I really wasn’t.

He could feel me more. He also liked what he felt in me more than when I was pretending. Staying shallow. Aloof. Fake.

I could feel me more too. I felt exposed. Tender. Expanded. Cautious. Open.

I can still remember the exact moment it dropped in that I could also be strong and courageous being vulnerable. It still feels amazing every time I remember.

It’s that same kind of strength and courage I see everyday as the new little flowers push themselves up out of the ground. That determination to reach the light. That fragile tender shoot bursting upward.

Risking everything to be exactly what it is. Alive. Rich. Beautiful. Following its own inner knowing to be exactly what it has come to be in the world.

Vulnerability is the path to being truly alive.

Are you willing to live life? Live Love? Fiercely?

I am.

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Filling Up……

My personal favorite places to refill are when I am out in nature.  I was blessed with a wonderful friend who has a truck and drove us to Carmanah in July, which is one of the oldest forests still remaining on the island.  (Traveling there by truck is most desirable as it is many hours on very rough logging roads.)

We spent a night and two days in the ancient forest.  It was truly magical in every way.  The energies, strength and power held and nurtured in the trees and all of the surrounding plants and animals are so rich and powerful in ways that words fall short of being able to totally convey the essence of “ancient”.  It is very special.

I have a very clear memory of sitting by the river and feeling such deep and profound peace, calm and contentment.  I was astounded by the feelings and marveled in them because I could not ever remember feeling this to such a depth in my soul.

The warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze on my skin, the sounds of the river, birds and breakfast being cooked and the crystal clarity that was in and around everything in my sight of vision that morning fills my heart and soul every time I remember this place and moment in time.  My tank was filling up fast and I felt renewed and refreshed in very deep ways.

There are so many things going on all around us these days to overwhelm and to deplete us and throw us off our center. 

Environmental disasters, political issues, family needs and unexpected surprises, job/work stuff, health issues of ourselves as well as those close to us, kids and all their needs as well as our own personal issues.  It can be pretty nonstop for days on end at times.

 

Self Inquiry

How are you taking care of you? What refills your tank?

Are you making sure that you are refilling yourself on a regular basis before the tank runs dry?  Who is going to meet your needs if you don’t?

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