Tag Archives | love

Vulnerability is the Path to Being Alive

Nature has always been my guide. Springtime is my reminder to be vulnerable.

Like the new leaves unfurling themselves. Flowers bursting forth. Seeds opening to their inner guidance.

Vulnerability. It’s like a dirty word to many of us humans. Nature does it effortlessly.

Consciously and unconsciously we tend to avoid it at all costs. Showing our underbelly. Soft spot. Raw place. Pain. Hurt.

I thought I always had to be tough. Not show any sign of weakness. I couldn’t let anyone know how I really felt about anything. It was way too dangerous. They might not like me. They might outright reject me. Abandon me. Hurt me.

Years ago a friend invited me to speak my truth. I don’t remember the particulars. What I do remember is that when I finally got honest, he could feel me more. I was still alive. He was still there.

He commented on how much more strength in me he could feel then. How it takes more courage to be honest. In my truth. My real.

As I felt more deeply into this place, I could sense it too. It required way more courage for me to be vulnerable than to fake being strong when I really wasn’t.

He could feel me more. He also liked what he felt in me more than when I was pretending. Staying shallow. Aloof. Fake.

I could feel me more too. I felt exposed. Tender. Expanded. Cautious. Open.

I can still remember the exact moment it dropped in that I could also be strong and courageous being vulnerable. It still feels amazing every time I remember.

It’s that same kind of strength and courage I see everyday as the new little flowers push themselves up out of the ground. That determination to reach the light. That fragile tender shoot bursting upward.

Risking everything to be exactly what it is. Alive. Rich. Beautiful. Following its own inner knowing to be exactly what it has come to be in the world.

Vulnerability is the path to being truly alive.

Are you willing to live life? Live Love? Fiercely?

I am.


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The Way to Joy Through Pain

I recently experienced a deep pain I’d buried for many years.

After my last significant relationship over six years ago, I was devastated. I was unable at that time to allow myself to feel what had happened. I only wanted to get away from it.

So I buried the hurt. The wounds. The anger. The regret. The judgements. The blame. The shame.

As it resurfaced I could feel the overwhelming pain I’d buried and had been hiding inside of me. It was heavy, dark, and despairing. And at the same time it was good to feel. It was necessary to feel.

My challenge was that I got lost in the pain. The story of it all. Who did what to whom and why. I felt stuck and didn’t know how to get out.

Somewhere in there I realized that the recurring theme was that ‘I didn’t know that I deserved to have a relationship be any better than that’. I didn’t know that I deserved to be adored. Loved. Acknowledged. Accepted. Heard. Seen.

So I had settled for something that felt unsettling and terrible a lot of the time.

As my awareness of this aspect increased I was still lost in the story of it all.

Two of my coaching colleagues supported and helped me find my way out. They held space for me to acknowledge how I had really rejected myself. Denied myself. Ignored myself.

Not because I knew any better. Because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know how to honour myself. Respect myself. Love myself. Not then.

They held space for me to claim that I deserve to be loved. Supported. Heard. Adored. Cherished. Treasured. I am worthy to have the best that life and a relationship has to offer me.

I’m learning. Now. How to love myself more. To take care of myself better.

To listen to what I need in each moment. To say “No” when I feel disrespected. To walk away when it doesn’t feel good. To make myself a snack when I feel hungry. To stop and rest when I’m exhausted. To dance when I want to move. To ask myself what I want now. In this moment. For me.

The way to joy. It is a journey. A process. Easier some days than others.

I’m developing more compassion for myself. Love for me. Joy in my heart.


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Living Love Fiercely Equals “Real”

Living Love Fiercely is all about being “Real”.

It’s about discovering:

  • What parts of your life are the story that you’ve bought into because it is what you were told. Or everyone else does it. You know, the things you do because you know it’s what is expected.
  • And discovering what your “Real” truth is. The stuff that gives you goose bumps from your head to your toes. The stuff that makes your heart skip a beat. The thing that brings real tears to your eyes and lightens your cosmic load by three tons.

Living Love Fiercely is risky. It is scary. It is daring. It is truth. It is freeing. And it is fun. Yes.

It is saying “Yes” to life and how amazing is that? It is what you came to do. It is what you came to be.

You are here to find “Real”. You may not know what that means yet, though I suspect there is a secret yearning somewhere inside you or you wouldn’t be reading this right now.

My favourite instructor in Nursing school at University gave me The Velveteen Rabbit as a parting gift my final year with her:

“‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

 After all these years I’m still moving toward “Real” with more excitement than ever before.

Are you ready to find your “Real”?

What is stopping you?

Let’s find “Real” together. Now.

I’m in. Are you?


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Risk to Live Fiercely Today

These days I find that I long for simple, short and sweet.

Direct. To the point. Clear.

Love is all there is.

I now know this to be true. I feel it in the cells of my being. Head to toe.

I’ve waited over five decades to experience this. It is worth the wait.

In a circle of open hearted, loving brothers and sisters completing our facilitator training, I risked it all to show up. To open. To reveal my truth. To explore my truth.

I felt the safety and permission needed for me to actually go deep. To feel deep. To express deeply. To connect deeply.

All I needed was the courage to take the risk. To step out of familiar into excitement. Into willingness to show all of me. Trusting that I would be held. Loved. Accepted.

Exactly how I showed up. Tears. Fears. Anger. Resistance. Playful. Open. Flowing.

I felt all. I gave all. I was met with all.

I was matched with such love and acceptance. Complete. Full. Cleansed. Opened up wide. To myself. In relation with others.

Separate. Yet connected.

Me. One with all.

I got it all. I’m blissed out in gratitude for life and living. I feel good in my skin. Luscious. In my skin. Ahhhhh.

Live Fiercely today and always….

ps  please share how you are living fiercely this month so we can support one another in our daringness and stretches! I love you!


photo by Gail Hull

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Fastest Way to Decrease Stress

I’ve always been a hugger. I love giving and getting hugs and have sought them with willing individuals over the years.

Research has shown my instincts are bang on. There are profound health benefits to those hugs after all.

It turns out that oxytocin, also known as the “love drug,” which is very familiar to those of us who are mothers because it is at much higher levels during childbirth and breastfeeding, is released within 20 seconds of a sustained hug.

Oxytocin is the bonding hormone that allows you to establish a deep connection with others; it’s the glue of society.

In short, slow down, take your time and breathe while you hug. The little quickies are okay though to get the most bang for your buck, stay connected for the full 20 seconds until that oxytocin begins to flow through your system.

The end results are astounding and obvious. Simply put, you feel better. Your entire nervous system relaxes.

You feel less stressed, your heart rate could go down (or up depending on who you are hugging), blood pressure drops, breathing slows, there is a sense of calmness, ease and peace that we all deeply long for.

If you don’t have anyone to nearby to hug, there is still an option.

Place your hand over your heart, close your eyes and breathe for at least 20 seconds. Even placing your hand over your heart will be enough to get the oxytocin flowing. Enjoy connecting with yourself and feel the love flow through your body, mind and soul.

Spread the love with a hug.



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